Know When You're Pissed!
by DaZZaBoY


Here is a list of handy pointers which will indicate you have exceeded 
your usual consumption of fermented vegetable drinks and you are entering 
the realm of complete hammeredness..!


1. It takes 101% concentration to walk straight.

2. The bouncer tells you he's Tom Cruise's brother and you beleive him.

3. You keep telling your mates you love them!

4. You dance to: The Birdy Song/Agadoo/The Timewarp/Boney M.

5. You give the taxi driver 10 tip?

6. You get a lift home with the police.

7. You don't mind walking 10 miles home.

8. It take 10 minutes to put the key in the door due to irratic movement 
   of the lock.

9. You go to the wrong party and don't notice.

10. For girls: You don't notice when your skirt is tucked into your knickers.

11. You're smoking but you gave up years ago.

12. You start swiping drinks from other peoples tables.

13. You wake up in a bus depot?

14. You wake up next to a complete stranger.

15. Your built in super duper mega deluxe secret agent beer goggles enable a 
     total pig to look like a Page 3 stunner!

16. You take 2 pints of water to bed with you.

17. You are positive that you just opened a new packet, yet ALL your cigs 
    have gone?

18. You tell complete strangers your life story.

19. The barman refuses to serve you.

20. You sit and watch re-runs of Prisoner Cell Block H.

21. You think you are having a crafty piss, then the no.69 bus drives past.

22. Your portable 'beer scooter' enables you cover vast distances in minimal time!

23. Paranoia sets in and you don't think anyones believes you, so you 
    persistantly state that "You mean it!"

24. The idea of a Doner Kebab doesn't disgust you.